I wasn't sure on which venue to share this, or even if I should, but here I go!
This morning has been typical thus far. I woke up 30 minutes after my wife because she tends to drop everything and blow dry her hair, thus creating a type of concert every morning (but I wouldn't have it any other way). I check my email to see who is wanting things done today and who I can push off another day or two. I then proceed to the shower. Now, whether or not my wife has left the house at this point, or even if the neighbor is present, I enjoy singing in the shower. My dad has always whistled hymns on Sundays, whether or not he even goes to church. And I think that this process has been engrained in me to sing Jesus songs (English or Spanish) on Sundays, but things like Kelly Clarkson or maybe a little Justin Bieber throughout my week.
Well, today is not Sunday, but I felt the song a'brewin. Here it came... it was a Jesus song! Nothing in particular struck my fancy, so I just starting singing and seeing if I could rhyme words... "Jesus" and "the way He sees us" maybe? Anyways, I just kept singing. I knew the wife had left and the neighbor was at work, so I sang as loud as I could - voice cracking and all - until it hit.
Something hit me like a train. I began weeping. This is different from my crying. I still cry like a baby- you know, where you can't formulate a word without taking another deep breath in. But this weeping was such that I was able to communicate. Now again, this was not my ordinary communication. This communication came from my heart. The words that I had been trying to fit into a tune turned into a tune that was being formulated around my words. These words were not my own (I know, I know... it's a cliche term, but this time it's serious). I was not thinking of these words. What I was thinking was... "what is going on?" What was happening was I was speaking and weeping and I couldn't stop it. For the first time in my life, I feel as though the Spirit of God had totally taken over. My heart, voice, and Spirit were in a melody greater than any song, more perfect than I could ever do on my own.
Then, just as quickly as it started, it was done. I had no tears. I had no sadness. My worries had been swept away. I was overfilled. Scared? Very. I'm a Baptist, I don't hear stories like this very often. But at the same time... I am new today. I can't explain it. Maybe you can see it, but there is a change... starting now. I just had to tell someone!!! I first told the one who put on the concert to wake me up, my beautiful wife. And now I am telling the world.
This life is not my own. My body is a temple in which the Spirit dwells. He has made me new. What I once considered gain is now loss for the sake of Christ. The old has been thrown aside. The things of this world, the temporary and insignificant things, are dead to me. This life is not my own. What is He doing in my life? I'm uncertain right now. But I know that He is setting me up and preparing me for something bigger than myself.
